Could you date yourself?

first I would turn the lights down lowww

then I would chase my ear around and when I catch it

I would whisper sweet nothings into it

then I would cut a hot pocket in half and intertwin my arms and feed it to me

all the while playing footsy with me

then when I go in for the kiss I would......

I would start shouting

!No I'm not being condesending!

!No you can't take dance lessons!

!YOU MAKE A VERY GOOD POINT!

then I would put baby food on a teddybear and name it Joseph

then pace around the room and wonder where did me go wrong